"You Know You Are Having A Bad Day When..."
~ Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels.
~ You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that
your zipper is open.
~ Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
~ Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the
candles.
~ You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
~ Everyone avoids you the morning after the company
office party.
~ Your income tax refund check bounces.
~ It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.
~ The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
~ You wake up and your braces are stuck together.
~ Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband.
~ You put both contacts in the same eye.
~ Your mother approves of the girl/guy you are dating.
~ Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.
~ You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your
MasterCard.
~ Nothing you own is actually paid for.
~ Everyone loves your driver's license picture.
~ The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.
~ You invite the peeping Tom/Thomasina in . . . and they
say no.
~ The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.
~ People think that you're 40 and you're only 35.
~ You call your Mom and tell her that you'd like to eat
out tonight and when you get home, there's a sandwich
on the front porch.
~ You start to put on the clothes that you wore home
from the party last night . . . and there aren't any.
author unknown
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